Not Enough

Why do you do this?

A better question is, why do I let it bother me, I think.

I know you love me. You do, don't you. Yes, you do. It's in your agonizing eyes, in your searing touch.

So why does a simple call make my tortured heart clench, my throat tight with fear and pain and aching need?

Fear.

Because I'm not good enough. I know you'll say I am. I'm not.

Afraid.

One day you'll leave, and I won't know how to live.

Is it all in my imagination? I hope so.
I pray so.

Nothing burns deeper than the flames of my doubt suspicion breeds angry flames that lick and scar my tender flesh.

Untitled

Her world harbors violence.
Pain. Fear. Lust.
Breeching the Commandments is her life.

In her world, all these things are imaginary. Figments of the overactive minds of the pleasure-starved.

Faces are just words strung together to form meaning.
It's only as real as you want it to be.
[It's only as fake as you want it to be.]

Flowers. Amethysts.
Indigo and gold make up her words.

Nothingness exists only in the minds of the nothings. They are the ones who fear it. Who claim it. Who make it their world.

Her world is passion. Lust. Love. Sex.
Her world is pleasure. Joy. Hope.
Her world is freedom. Not their freedom, but her own.

Snowed In

crisp white blanketing the ground
untouched by the foulness of mankind
pure

each falling crystal a mirror
revealing its facets upon cool glass panes

flame licks at evergreen logs
breaking the quiet with hissing and popping
warming the dark night air

nothing moves
nothing but the falling snow
my breath upon the windowpane
the flames that destroy to give life
light
warmth

Between

Between you and I there is only air.
There is only breath.

Nothing else should matter, nothing else should stand in the way. We should not seek to put these obstacles between our hearts. So why do we?

It hurts more and more each time.
I cry harder.
You hurt, and scream, and make me want to fly away.

When did it become so difficult? When did something so simple, so intrinsic to our human nature become so heart-wrenching, so painful?

Now between us there is air. There is breath.
And tears.

But even with this I still seek your arms. Your love matters to me. You matter to me. Not even the hurt, when hurt is fading, can take that away. Not even the tears can cause me not to see. I see you. I love you. Even now.

Give Me More

No.

You ask me not to read into what you say. To accept your words as what they are. To not make assumptions. But how can I not, when all you give is one word?

No.

I won't read anymore, if that's what you want. I won't read at all.

*sigh*

Every word, every sound has a meaning all its own. If you want to say something, use words. Don't leave it for me to guess what you mean. What you want.

*screams*

Even the silence, the places between words, holds meaning. Even the quiet can make my heart ache.

Tornado

Free me.
Make it stop, make it go away. Please?

I can't do it for myself. I won't. It's part of me. Intrinsic to my very nature.
But it slices deeper every time, until I'm hanging by a thread. And I'm losing my grip on even that.

I don't want to lose it. Don't want to lose that which was shared. That which I cling to so perilously. The ego, the hunger for love screams and kicks and bites. A childish tantrum. And I can't make it stop.

Won't make it stop.
Want it to stop.
Want it to stop, to leave me in peace, to quiet my soul, to let me find that one moment of calm.

Around me a tornado rages and I lose all control. Whirling, spinning, raging. Tearing everything down. Love, Hate, Pain. Nothing stands until it is gone. And then pain finds its way back faster, racing to the wreckage of my heart.

I love you. I want to not hurt you. To not hurt. But it seems impossible.
This sickness refuses to release me.

Do I have to choose?

Luna's Light

daughters of change
drink luna's magic beneath her light
dancing in a sacred circle
to the rhythm of their blood

warriors of sacred night
howling their rage like songs
diamond claws raised against the sky
like anthems of glory

Killers

This was written as a challenge, given a subject and a list of words that have to be used. It's a fun exercise, actually.

Subject: Tigers in the Jungle of India

Words:

1. Rock Salt
2. Candy Canes
3. Tomato Paste
4. Penicillin
5. Pewter


eyes glint like pewter caught in a shaft of sun
the creature hides amongst the blades of a fern

the men work nearby never seeing the great hunter
killer of men, the true king of cats

stalking, watching, ebon stripes giving camoflage
against lush fur the color of watered-down tomato paste

palm fronds like candy canes unfurling in morning's light
stir and sway as the giant moves closer to the camp

they hear the scream and come with guns drawn
leaving the cages that hold the unconscious cubs

all that is left is spilled rock salt stained with blood
the last of the supplies the victim carried

the poachers, fearful now of the striped death
open the cages and flee with their lives

Nepthys' Dreams

golden eyes lined with khol
nails tap against the glass
expectant
waiting for him to arrive

staggering through a stagnant stream
a cloud of gnats rises
a canopy above his head

she is lucky, she thinks
swathed in rich silks
every inch of it a flourish
bespeaking her honored place

serendipity, they said
when she fell upon
the necromancer's scythe

now she is his for eternity
waiting for him to arrive
to bring her the spoils
of his deadly obsession

One Word: Lavender

in lavender fields I race against time
purple blossoms sprayed around my footsteps like discolored snow
sweet aromas dazzle the senses and lull me

poppies .. no .. lavender will make them sleep

Untitled

In the recesses of mystery the voices swim
languid bodies flowing effortlessly
through a myterious fog

echoes of purpose find homes
in lovers' souls

whomsoever wishes to seek out their past
may find it hidden
wrapped within the caul of fear and pain

I cannot go where you go
nothing calls me there
and I will not tread where I am unwanted.

Playing With Haiku

~* a room of silver *~
Lambent before dawn;
In nighttime travels, I watch
A room of silver.

~* dormant tree *~
Without foliage;
A dormant tree does prevail;
Awaiting spring's return.

~* a darkness dwelt *~
A darkness dwelt here;
Alive within I saw them;
Just before dawn broke.

~* spilling fire *~
The barrel alight,
spilling fire like Pompeii in
years long forgotten.

~* marble words *~
Struggling to become,
within a prison of marble
words, a poem waits.

Untitled

outside the air is cold.
snow brings a bitter white blanket
that could kill without caring.

here and now though
we are warm.
bundled together under a quilt
handstiched with love.

no need to hurry to some
frantic dance of limbs and flesh

love is made not in grinding two bodies together
but in tenderness
in softness born of moments spent
cuddling on a snowy night

Torn

once there was a man who loved me
as I loved him

his words were soft
and yet they filled my soul with such fire
each sound tearing through my hardened heart
a machine-gun rending soft flesh
with each hushed phrase

his voice was the sweetest music
not gentle but clear
it spoke to me in ways that thrilled my skin
bringing to it a delicate glow

my heart leapt at every touch
each small smile
found a mirror in my own

I ached the day I learned
he was gone
a beautiful soul torn from my world
in a single lonesesome blast

my heart shattered
the icy grip of pain enfolded me
became mine
a wretched consort my only
comfort

once there was a man who loved me
as I loved him
every now and then I crave his touch
his voice, his scent
him

I love him still
even though I will never in this life hold him
share his thoughts
my thoughts

he gave me life
for that I will forever be thankful
and hold him in a small corner
of my soul

Winter Magic

children wait in their beds
anxious as they struggle to find sleep
before He comes to give
love and life and cheer

'He won't come if you're awake' they say
and so you can find them
eyes squeezed shut
hidden beneath warm and rumpled blankets
whispering excitedly

outside the ground is blanketed in white
the soft music of winter
of icicles chiming, branches creaking
in their winter slumber

the trees wait too
standing fast in almighty glory
deeply rooted as they endure this darksome night

winter magick brings many things

He is Santa Claus
or Father Christmas
He is the Oak King and Saint Nicholas
He is the return of the sun
of deepening light to warm the cold earth

the man in red brings warmth to all things
to anxious children's hearts
to the cold and quiet earth

spreading warmth
and joy
and love to all
beneath a starlit sky

Love Awakens

a breath stills
a fragile heart leaps
each breath counting the moments
until

fingers trace along fragile curves
liquid fire
to burn your touch into my skin

where once my soul
yearned for
a cessation of existence
to move on
into another lifetime

now love
fuels the inferno
devouring my fear
and pain

Awaiting

lights sparkle
gracing the verdant boughs
upon each branch a fragile orb
or bauble

beneath the tree of the season
packages sit
the bows upon them reflecting
each shimmering bulb sabove

this winter's night
the hearts of children
anticipate
the arrival of one who lives
only because they believe

brightly colored fabric skirts
soon covered in packages
wrapped in pretty papers
each waiting for the delighted cries
of children

On Poets

in our words we conjure images
memories
hopes and fears
we cause passions to spark
to burn within the souls of our readers.

we do not walk softly
but stomp and cry out
our voices not timid and shy
like inexperienced schoolgirls
but raucous and sure
flashing a lascivious smirk as we pass

our stories
told in meter and rhyme
of our own choosing
are meant to incite passions
to arouse
some like a gentle caress
others
joined with wanton shrieking and thrashing
tangled in the sheets

I am a courtesan
my voice
like my body
used and abused for the pleasure of others
a strumpet
exhibiting herself to anyone
everyone

Feline Logic

she trills
to get my attention
patting my thigh with her small hand

her eyes
green as new leaves
glinting as morning light streams in the window

her face
beautiful and sweet
chin lifted high in pride .. or defiance

stalking off
the turns her back on me
sending a clear message .. 'You're not worth my time'

The Boys of My Youth

father? no .. not if you hear my mother tell it.
you created me, just the same.
your touch once brought my mother pleasure
but now she won't even speak your name.

i have heard tales of you
the terrible things you did to me
and I too young to remember, believed

a paper sits on my desk now.
it tells me you are no longer my father.
that right was taken, ripped from your hands
without even a fight.

did you want me?
do you want me now?
should i even bother asking?

~*~

you took my mother into your life
so young. five years her junior
and yet so old.
buried your own parents far too young.

i loved you then
you brought joy to her
through her, to me.

you taught me, though i couldn't see it
to be strong.
i rebelled because I could not see
your lessons
i would not look deep enough

when the man who created me left
you filled the emptiness
not completely, but enough to be my dad

~*~

my mother's father
you made her strong
but more importantly you made her

long ago
before I was even imagined
you faught in a war
and it changed you

you loved your family
your wife
children enough to fill your small home
you came home to them, thankfully

as long as I can remember
you and mimere had separate rooms
but that didn't mean that your home wasn't filled with love

i learned so much about love
staying there in your home

you left too soon
i never got to say goodbye
you never got to meet the man i love
the man who gave me the same love
i felt in your presence

~*~

before i loved
you were there
not a singular person
but a group.

you were my first friends.
you and i traipsed through forests and fields.

we spent hours in the snow
discovering for ourselves
just how cold it was.

we got lost in the woods
and it wasn't a danger
we didn't care.

we weren't afraid, and didn't have to be.

~*~

my first experience with death.
ninth grade
i woke up to hear my mother ask 'did you know him?'

devastated .. and we were barely friends.
as i write this i can see your face
you would have been handsome
had your brother not taken your life

too soon.

you were smart. you were funny.
we were all friends.
but you were gone.
and the entire school turned out for your wake.
filled the funeral home.

i tried to punch a photographer at the cemetary.
i kissed your mother's cheek.
your father's widow.

~*~

you were the drummer
never the front man
never the one the girls wanted

but i wanted you.

after the dances i would stay
we made out behind the bleachers before my ride left
you were too old
and I knew it but didn't care.

~*~

you were the one that nearly cost me my friendship.
she wanted you.
so did i.

but i think i only did because she did.
but you wanted me.

passing around boyfriends became a pasttime then.
you were the first
of many

~*~

you.
you broke my heart.
you were the first to do it.
not the last, but the rest don't hurt as much.

you made your best friend ask me out for you.
i was, of course, seeing someone else.
that day .. at lunch .. i went from him
to you.

i loved you
we were good together.

i couldn't help that i had to move.
i was only a sophomore.
we promised we would stay together.

he told me, you know.
he ratted you out.
and i was glad for it.
i was glad to come to the party
to see you with her, and to walk out with him.

you taught me the meaning of revenge.
thank you.

~*~

you who always made me smile.
you who stood back while he loved me.
used me.

you told me what happened.
and helped me exact my revenge.
and i saw you through new eyes.

the first long distance romance.

~*~

the bad boy.
oh how i wanted you.
from the moment you arrived at school.

all the girls did, of course.
with your long hair.
dark eyes that seemed to burn through me.
mysterious, you were.
dangerous.

i had you, of course.
i felt safe wrapped in those dangerous arms.

better. i felt powerful.
i had what they wanted.
felt the jelous eyes.
and i loved it.

i never ended things badly.
you just moved away.
i was sad but learned .. another would come.

~*~

you.
not a lover.
a teacher.

you tried to show me i was better than they said.
tried.
but i didn't want to see it.

~*~



dangerous.
but not so much.
you i learned to control.
respect you gave, because i demanded it.

you only lived down the street.
my solitude when i saught it out.

they knew i would hide there when i tried to escape
but you tried to save me.
you earned my trust.
and my silence.
despite knowing you were wrong.

i often wonder where you went.
i hope beyond hope you saw the error of your ways.
sadly i don't think you could.

~*~

tears fall
every time i think of you.

years have come and gone
loves have come and gone
but there remains an empty hole in my heart

you were not dangerous
not sinister
nothing i ever wanted.

and yet you were everything.

the happiest times of my years were spent
laughing with you.
watching you create art with your two hands.

to you i owe my love of art.
my desire to create comes from you.
from your memory.

they were afraid to tell me what happened.
they sat me down
and i thought it was a joke.

it was no laughing matter.

worst of all
i couldn't come to you
and i wanted to.
more than anything i tried to find you.

only years and years later did i find your grave.
i sat and wept in the cold snow.

love remains.
my handsome, charming prince.
you remain in me.


~*~

my retreat into fantasy found you
willing to indulge my whims
dangerous dreams

you fed my desires and let me
rule you

you were timid
afraid of me, like they said so many were
or did i only want to believe that?

you got me to believe in something again

~*~

handsome.
no.
incredible.
no.

perfect.

you were hers .. and too young for me.
i contented myself with your friendship
and sent the rumor mill into overdrive.

they wouldn't believe we were only friends.
they saw what i saw.
they saw that i wanted what i couldn't have
and it became a game.

a game that lasted two long years.
my hunger inflamed
an inferno that threatened to burn me.

you left her.
i nearly laughed.
intead i kissed you.

but it didn't last, that kiss.
we saw what we should have known all along.

we were better off friends.

~*~

jolly fat man.
no, not santa claus.

but you could have been.

your enthusiasm infected me.
but it was the handsome young men
walking into your office all day that
i wanted to see.

you were funny
and kind
and their leader.

my, how i thank you now.

~*~

through him, there was you.

irish.
not what my dad would have wanted for me.
but that was the point.
wasn't it?

you soothed me when i ached.
you tempted me when i turned away.

i never thought i'd escape the terror of my youth.

much, much later i would look back and smile.
red hair -is- a warning.

~*~

your voice i know.
your words i remember.
your face i have seen.

but i have never known your touch.
never had the pleasure of your fingers memorizing my skin.
devouring my warmth as though it were
necessary.

still
you saved me from myself.

gentle.
loving and kind.
true despite all odds.
despite the distance. despite my fear and hate and rage.

it was you that abandoned me.
for the first time, i felt sadness.
but it was sadness i could stand.

~*~

beloved.

you came when i thought i would never love again.
i did not seek you out.

we missed eachother by a matter of weeks in london.
would we have found eachother there?

i left everything for you.
home.
family.
security.

it was worth it.

the worry and fear on the long bus ride.
the anguish and frustration as i struggled to find my way to your arms.
it was all worth it when i felt your arms at last around me.

you above all.
no one means more than you to me.
my heart aches when we're apart
even for a moment.

you have seen me through trying times.
through days when we could have been lost to eachother.
you in your stubborn way make me see when i'm being a fool.

you comforted me through loss.
through frustration.
through rage .. even when it was directed at you.
and i've seen yours too
and i don't fear it.

i only fear losing you.
living without you in my life is my greatest terror.
a nightmare that never fails to bring tears to my eyes.

we make a life together now.
a home. a family.
through everything, we are together.
as it should be.

Between

Between you and I there is only air.
There is only breath.

Nothing else should matter, nothing else should stand in the way. We should not seek to put these obstacles between our hearts. So why do we?

It hurts more and more each time.
I cry harder.
You hurt, and scream, and make me want to fly away.

When did it become so difficult? When did something so simple, so intrinsic to our human nature become so heart-wrenching, so painful?

Now between us there is air. There is breath.
And tears.

But even with this I still seek your arms. Your love matters to me. You matter to me. Not even the hurt, when hurt is fading, can take that away. Not even the tears can cause me not to see. I see you. I love you. Even now.

Paper Flowers

I linger in the doorways of my memories
Too afraid to step into the halls of yesterday
Yet too uneasy to remain where I am

Lost in a destiny I do not want
Trapped in a history I never wished for
Once upon a time, I never imagined this

Untitled

frigid
my hands are like ice
aching for your warmth to infuse them.

wrapped within your sweater i find myself smelling you
inhaling you

i long to be wrapped within your arms
curled against your chest with your lips trailing kisses
soft and gentle against my temple

through that ache, that yearning
i know i'll find
warmth

affection

heaven is a companion
cunning, curious, mischevious
who like a tiger
stalks

only this she will give
grace
quiet kisses with whiskery face
sweet purr
your best gift

Untitled

celebrate daughter, drink in my breath
i bring to you a sacred star
in morning circle did woman learn
universe remembers magic like a cat
once vast blue ocean, eternity embraces a flower
those lives always speak soft, like lingering smoke

Untitled

together we dream
music eternal
another sacred fantasy

beautiful

Beauty.

A fallacy, many say.
Others claim it's "in the eye of the beholder". What does that really mean, anyway

Beauty simply is.

I am beautiful because I say I am. I am beautiful because I want to be. I am beautiful because I allow myself to be.

A thought can make you beautiful to me. A word can also.
So too can a caress, leaving it's imprint upon my skin. Leaving an impression of you there.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
Don't hate,
because you're beautiful too.

If you would only see it, then you'd know.
You're beautiful.

the mesa of prophesy

here alone i stand
watching for a sign of things to come
but am bombarded only by the past

once proud people
no longer found amongst the stones
forced to hide where fire cannot reach

daughters of seers
mothers and sisters learned in ways of old
cannot teach their songs in fear

Killers

eyes glint like pewter caught in a shaft of sun
the creature hides amongst the blades of a fern

the men work nearby never seeing the great hunter
killer of men, the true king of cats

stalking, watching, ebon stripes giving camoflage
against lush fur the color of watered-down tomato paste

palm fronds like candy canes unfurling in morning's light
stir and sway as the giant moves closer to the camp

they hear the scream and come with guns drawn
leaving the cages that hold the unconscious cubs

all that is left is spilled rock salt stained with blood
the last of the supplies the victim carried

the poachers, fearful now of the striped death
open the cages and flee with their lives

New Year's Flight

snips and curls of colored paper litter the street
revelers have fled now from the harsh winter cold
seeking the warmth of family and home

one lone figure sits in the airport
writing her resolutions for the coming year
promises she intends to keep

she waits for flight 823, the flight home
disappointment streaking her cheeks in wet trails
that she tries to hide from the woman at the boarding gate

"first call for flight 823, all passengers"
the voice comes over the speakers
rousing her from her melancholy reverie

she gathers her things hurriedly
just wanting to get away from the memories
passing through the tunnel and out of sight

but left behind as she passes into the darkness
a single slip of paper
flutters to the floor to be swept away

upon it, her resolutions for the coming year:
"I will quit smoking, lose 15 pounds, exercise more
and seek the soft touch of my husband one more time."

lupine poetry

sacred night rhythm
her howl like breath surrounds you
lupine poetry

Luna's Light

daughters of change
drink luna's magic beneath her light
dancing in a sacred circle
to the rhythm of their blood

warriors of sacred night
howling their rage like songs
diamond claws raised against the sky
like anthems of glory

Nepthys' Dreams

golden eyes lined with khol
nails tap against the glass
expectant
waiting for him to arrive

staggering through a stagnant stream
a cloud of gnats rises
a canopy above his head

she is lucky, she thinks
swathed in rich silks
every inch of it a flourish
bespeaking her honored place

serendipity, they said
when she fell upon
the necromancer's scythe

now she is his for eternity
waiting for him to arrive
to bring her the spoils
of his deadly obsession

Lost Dreams

beneath a luminous moon
gleaming bright against the khol-black sky
she stands

palms raised in supplication
words of a tongue long lost to mankind
a tribute to gods thought forgotten
spilling from her lips

the sands shift beneath the feet of followers
in the lee of the spinx
contemplating his riddle

moonrise brings a chorus of voices
each one a priestess in white linen
marked with the eye
a tattoo of devotion upon olive skin

somewhere in the course of time
these things were lost
we bring them back in our memories

Elements

Earth

beneath mountain roots
life flows in rivers of gold
grounding, giving strength


Air

breath of life, the wind
carries whispers and secrets
measure of knowledge


Fire

passion burns the flesh
energy, vitality
purify my soul


Water

emotion runs like
liquid love, happiness and
home, subconscious thought


Spirit

return to self, your
Goddess and God, watching
you follow your path

Reviving Lost Dreams

here in the desert lies a ring of ancient stones.
here, where the sphinx shades the searing sand by day,
and blocks out the moonlight when the sun has fallen to the depths of the world
here is where we gather.

each of us a goddess, a priestess, a woman
our flesh tanned from long days walking in seach of this place
some pink from the hint of sunburn while others revel in their darkness.

upon each shoulder the eye
the symbol of our rebirth into secrets of a time long forgotten
the promise that those ways will not be lost

each night we draw closer, seeking the solstice
the night of longest night, when the shadows cover the earth
and practicioners of bygone rites turn their gazes to the horizon
seeking the return of the light.

here, within this ring of worn stones, the words upon them faint
from windblown sand and monsoon rains,
here we will sing to the gods of our people, to seek them out in hope
that not all is lost to time.

each body a beacon of beauty, of love, of faith
swathed in white linen for purity, for devotion, the radiance of woman
each woman a follower of her own religion.

moonrise of the longest night
the solstice comes upon us all, and we are ready with voices strong and proud
singing to those come before us, singing to those who shall follow.

we sing because we must, because without us the ways will die
we sing because our sisters need to hear our voices ringing
without our faith, our light, our love, the world will suffer
for those ways of the ancestors will be lost without us

all night we shall sing, revelry and devoted fervor carrying through the desert
lifted voices, laughter and tears echoing upon the winds
beneath the shade of the great sphinx we shall dance and sing
until the first faint rays of the returning sun reveal his majestic mein

with the return of the sun all know, all feel
we did not let them die, we have reclaimed the rites of old
the knowledge of times past lives on because we women traveled here

with the first warm rays that touch our flesh we lift our hands
in supplication to those whose names we have uttered in the uncertainty of the night
giving thanks to the many, the ones, the all

in thanks we turn to one another in heartfelt embrace
sisters and mothers, friends, even lovers both in sprit and in flesh
we will return now, making our passage across these great sands
each step completing the unbroken circle

Love

every word caresses my eyes
stirring my heart
igniting my yearning for more.

i want to hold you safe within my stripes
to purr sweet words into your soul until you smile
and tell me your heart is warm

your voice echoes in the hollow places where i seek it out
a desperate game of tag

each time i catch you makes me smile and think
you're mine
but you're really not, and really, i'm okay with that

as long as we can still play at love
can still play with love in our hearts, our souls bared
like fangs to gnaw and tear apart the walls between us

streets of fantasy

there is a place i know
where unicorns and sylvan maids walk upon paths
laid down by mythic beauties
where the flora sing and fauna dance to a tune sung
by the glorious moon in her heavenly palace.

there is a place i hide within all of this
there my skin is striped, my fingers tipped with deadly claws
and within a cave only my eyes are seen.

it is on these streets of fantasy that words pass by like swimming fish
and you and i can grab them with nets
or our bare hands, piecing them together as we would a mosaic
rearranging them before they fly away to become something else entirely

in this place there is a tree whose branches shade my hiding place
faeries sing and play amongst its branches
and beneath, in the hard stone, a troll dwells, dark and glooming
but still a part of this place of fantasy
this place of dreams where life still lives

A Lamentable Love

there was a time when love lived in
a shell, trapped within my heart.
it seemed then that your touch was sin
that burned me each time we would start.
but days turned long when you would leave
me to my pain, and I would ache
for more of your voice. in my dreams
your arms would enfold me to take
away my pain. but now hurt is life
and in sorrow there is a new
joy, one that feeds the pain, rife
with screams and sobbing. I eschew
the fear that sorrow brings, and so
it is with love and pain I grow.

a life springs outward

seeds of fantasy whirl in eddies
cast off from branches like reaching hands
a life springs outward
seeking salvation in words

cast off from branches like reaching hands
the seers listen to the cries of children
seeking salvation in words
remembered from lullabyes long forgotten

the seers listen to the cries of children
thrusting hands into gold-filled cauldrons
remembered from lullabyes long forgotten
when days and youth were bright

thrusting hands into gold-filled cauldrons
that spilled their seeds onto the desperate fields
when days and youth were bright
with the promise of another new tomorow

that spilled their seeds onto the desperate fields
seeds of fantasy whirl in eddies
with the promise of another new tomorow
a life springs outward

One Word: Survive

you survive without me
I care not what you think
You survive with me
I cling to your hand
you are that which brings me hope
I survive in you

Let me touch you
breathe you
hear you
know you

I survive for you.

One Word: Vacant

a vacant lot sits
empty
alone
scared

we don't go there anymore
not after that night
not after they came
not after he was hurt so badly.

there's a tree there
alone
yet still growing.

One Word: Assign

don't assign me a name
you don't realize what it does to me
those words are just labels and they slice me open
make me bleed

you don't get to assign anything to me
you don't have the right to make me what you think I am

I am not what you want me to be
I am only my own

Untitled

in whatever fashion you please
please me
in whatever fashion you please
feed me
prepare a feast of rats and roadkill
tainted with ruddy clay soil and tears
you ache for me
quake for me at your center
but never will I fall
to your desperation
a novel thought can infect a man
but you are germ free
your failure to tease an open window
i sign in the grime
a genie in a bottle you are not

Dare

i dare you to dream, to be the dream of your heart and soul
i dare you to open doors slammed shut by time and hurt and cold
i dare you to be

it's not in the woods that you are set free
not in the soaring skies or in the vast and endless oceans
it's in the nowhere that your dreams turn into everywhere
there you become what you are meant to

i dare you to dive into the murky depths and seek out the golden ring
i dare you to leap without looking
to race through dark forests in the chill of night and not care where you're going
or where you've been.

dream. love. be.
i dare you.

One Word: Sing

i want to sing for you
to bring you beautiful voices
the words soaring upon the breath of the earth
i want to sing with you too
bring a smile to your face
to your eyes
to see my reflection in them
i want to sing with you
for all the world to hear
and know my love

One Word: After

today after yesterday
I wanted you to come
to go
to join me in my bower
to dive into the eddies of time where all is lost
but you and I

yur voice echoes in my thoughts
your touch burned into my skin
today after yesterday
I need you

Untitled

She dares not wait for their steps to catch her
for fear that time will catch them all.
That would be the undoing.

living in time yet outside of it
her stripes becoming bars that keep things out.

where is the river of fire to cleanse her?
how far have she strayed from the path they set her upon?

You don't know her anymore
this creature of strength, of passion and power.
You never knew her at all.

Untitled

this nightmare of idleness
sceptre of my deception
brings hollow promises to deafen me
reckoning the agony of dreams lost

mists enshroud the imps at play
this nightmare of idleness
calls them to my circle
where darkness battles light to an uneasy impasse

revelations of untold agonies
saught in the quietude of the witching hour
this nightmare of idleness
stalks the creatures of my soul

wretched Scythian heroes
setting off in chase of an errant hare
whilst I sit in docile contemplation
this nightmare of idleness

knowledge yesterday arrived

in drips and drops of pattering feet
knowledge yesterday arrived
lemmings racing
stumbling
careening towards the cliff of awareness
knowledge yesterday arrived
we dare not open the door
only to find ourselves aching
seeking
screaming for ignorance
knowledge yesterday arrived
the agony of intelligence
a fever of aptitude
knowledge yesterday arrived

alive

images a testament to time
unreadable with my eyes
worn by the touch of a million smooth palms
something lost in the translation
let them show me how to be alive
in faded hues of darkest night
and the blood of their toils
I add my hand to others come before me
feel the link between my time and theirs
let me put myself in their footprints
feel a heartbeat in the stone
the beat of hearts set afire by the hunt
hearts racing with fear
pigments staining their fingers and faces
recording the losses and triumphs
of a people who were truly alive

i believe

i believe yesterdays are the future of tomorrows
in a world where chaos seeks order
and silence screams to deafen.
i believe pretty girls have ugliness in their pores
and the blind see clearly in the darkest night.
i believe sorrow and pain makes the world go 'round,
that hunger gnaws at the innards of the fat and rich
while the destitute thrive in their carboard mansions.
i believe things are not always as they seem,
or that things seem not always as they are.

Untitled

waking to a burning sunrise
clouds billowing vermilion and gold
like scorched pillows
against a bruised sky

my open eyes recoil in distress
waking to a burning sunrise
frantically trying to recapture
the euphoria of dreams

once more lashes flutter and reveal
the swollen fiery sky
waking to a burning sunrise
my horror changed to glee

when softer light diffused the morning
and harmony returned
no longer would I cringe and cower
waking to a burning sunrise

insanity is in sanity bred

insanity is in sanity bred
no lack of love to guide us
without pain we cannot hate
being broken only temporary

no lack of love to guide us
the thoughts of depression only laziness
being broken only temporary
excesses of agony a shelter

fits of depression only laziness
like an ostrich's noodle hidden
excesses of agony a shelter
from the work left to be done

seeking pain is only running
insanity is in sanity bred
a life worth living well is found
without pain we cannot hate

Voices of Nature

we are the voices of nature.
we are the winds that howl her pain through the eaves of your homes.
we are the endless tappingof the rain upon the cement you cover her with.
we are the hissing and crackling of the fire you carelessly toy with.
we are the groaning sound of the timbers you killed to build your homes.
we beg you to stop.

if you will only listen to our cries, we know you will stop.
if you listen, we will teach you ways that will not destroy our Mother.

Little Man

little man

your secrets are drops of rain
cascading down the window of tomorrow
obscuring that which you long to see

little man

in your memories you seek refuge
from the reality of pain and fear
and the ache of your heart

little man

go now from the hallways of my mind
take your memory and your fear
and your heartache and secrets

begone little man.